A new unit of measure a ‘Pharqmi' (for nearing infinity)...
The level of frustration one gets, constantly finding hair ties, hair clips, clothes, empty plates, food wrappers, discarded clothes, shoes, school books & bags, dead bananas, old sandwiches, drink bottles, DVD cases, loose DVD’s etc etc etc left everywhere in your house.
The unit of measure is a 'Pharqmi', the symbol of which is ‘pMe’. (Think of Charles's opening lines (Hugh Grant) in "Four Weddings and a Funeral"...)
It is measured with a highly modified sound level meter called an “iMaslave”. It’s output is directly proportional to the number of decibels, multiplied by the number of sharp utterances of "opharqinell (p)" measured, over time. It requires exceptional levels of computing power.
Not surprisingly, there is apparently no limit to the level of Pharqmi's one can measure at any given moment.
The formula is:
pMe = dB x p/t
(where p is the number of "opharqinell's" captured, t – the number of seconds)
Seemingly, the ultimate level, a 'Thankpharq' is rarely reached. A ‘Thankpharq’ is the holy grail of most houses and may only be reached when all the little darlings have grown up and left home. Obviously, a ‘Thankpharq’ is simply the ambient sound level as measured by a “Imaslave’.
The general market release of “Imaslave’s” is expected within the next ten years or sooner if computer processing power advances sufficiently enough to capture the rapid “opharqinell’s”, accurately. So far this is proving elusive. The current “Imaslave” is in early experimental phase and requires super computer cooling, thus limiting portability and marketability.
Well let's hope so!
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